Married Sex Blog

Outdoor Sex

Despite talking about it for several years, we'd never actually gotten around to having sex outside. Summers came and went but for some reason (probably kids) we never found the time.

Recently we finally got the opportunities and took advantage of them. With our Double Sleeping Bag, Fascinator Throe, iMainGo (iPod case with built in speakers) for music, and a bottle of champagne we headed for the deck.

I don't know how your musical preferences normally run, but mine are quite varied. For sex outdoors I think country music is the obvious and best choice. You're outside, there's trees and stars. You can hear the crickets and frogs. Good country just seems to fit the bill. For suggested songs try this Sexy Country iMix.

There is something very erotic about having sex outside. Perhaps it's just the different location, but it may also be the breeze and the openness. In either case, it's a lot of fun.

One thing that is particularly nice is just lying their together looking at the stars. As this is near 4th of July. There are also some fireworks displays visible from our deck which added some nice touches.

I couldn't help but think about the contrast between the stars and the fireworks. The stars are constant and vast. It takes a long time to look them all over. The fireworks and quick and flashy. They are exciting and powerful, but are over quickly.

Yeah, I'm making an illustration about sex. This is after all a sex blog. Seems like we kind of have a choice and a lot of people choose to chase after firework sex - The Big Bang - Exciting - - Flashy Sex - - and fail to enjoy the depth and enduring beauty of star sex. Fireworks fade, but stars last a very long time. Enjoy the fireworks when they happen, but don't pass over the stars.

"Don't Cha Wish Your Husband Was Hot Like Mine"

I found another reason to have more sex.

It all started with a late night at work. I came home stressed from the normal work day and made a flying pass though my house. I changed clothes, fed the kids, and snapped impatiently at my husband and kids. Then it was off again to a late work commitment.

When I returned home later, I opened the door to my home and thought, "What happened to my house?" It was CLEAN! No dishes in the sink, no toys abandoned in the floor, and a candle burned cheerfully on the stove. My husband had the children bathed and all but our youngest tucked in bed. I snuggled up on bed with my toddler and husband, and felt the last of the stress drift away. My husband told me he'd take care of tucking in our son, and that I should just go take a bath. I had a few more items on my to-do list for the evening, though, such as packing lunches for the next day, so I headed for the kitchen instead of the bathroom.

My husband soon followed me to the kitchen and took over lunch-box duty, shooing me off to take a bath.

There in my bathroom, my final surprise awaited. Candles, scented hot water, and romantic music greeted me. See what kind of man I have?

So what does this have to do with having more sex, you ask? Probably not what you think. You see, I shared this story with my co-workers the next day, and every single one had the same reaction--"Guess we know what HE wanted!" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

But you know what? That's not why he did it.

And how am I so confident? Because I was a sure thing. He' have "gotten some" anyway. My husband did not have to go to all of that effort and pamper me like he did to get sex. We have sex on a regular basis. If you have read any of our other articles, you know we operate under the assumption that sex WILL happen unless we jointly decide it won't. So my husband is freed from the trap that seems to await all husbands. If they try to be romantic, we assume they "want something." If they don't try to be romantic, we wish they did and feel less inclined to have sex--possibly even withholding sex as a punishment.

Satisfying and frequent sex (frequent enough the partner with the highest sex drive feels satisfied) frees us from assuming ulterior motives on the part of our mates. This generally applies to women who assume men have ulterior motives for every romantic gesture on their part.

So my newest reason for more frequent sex? Trust. And a confidence in my husband's love that other women don't seem to share.

Party Like It's 1999 . . . or whatever

Sometimes married folks forget to go out and have fun. We may have a tendancy to "act our age". We're fortunate to have a really fun group of friends and we've totally forgotten how old we are. (Don't get the wrong idea here we're all still well under 40 although I can see it pretty clearly).

The other night we all went out together for a fun dinner and then to a local night club. Suffice to say we were the oldest ones there but we had a GREAT time. We literally took over the dance floor for a while. And the wives know how to shake it.

Going out dancing in the clubs is a great way to seduce your husband. The common bump and grind so prevalent today is really only appropriate for married couples anyway so you and your honey can have a lot of fun out there on the dance floor. Dancing close in public can be very erotic.

For us guys, it's a lot of fun to go out like that with your spouse. All the other pathetic folks there are looking for a hook up and are going to split to whatever train-wreck of a one-night stand they've found as soon as they think the've got it. All the while we're dancing away with our spouse KNOWING we're going to get it and just savoring the beauty we came with.

Making Up Is Hard To Do

Interesting artlcle from MatrimonyXpress.com helps put the perspective on arguments among spouses. It also offers ringing endorsement for make-up sex!

What If I Don't Want An Orgasm?

If you're following our advice and having lot's of hot married sex, there will probably come a time when your Husband wants it, but you really don't. (I'm not ignoring the fact that sometimes the wife wants it and the husband doesn't, but that is a different article.)

We've already told you Why to have sex when you are not in mood, so here's the how.

If all is going well, then you and your husband should be having good open discussions about who wants what, when, why and how. I am assuming for the purpose of this article that you enjoy making love to your husband even if you don't necessarily desire an orgasm -- that you find pleasure in the physical closeness thot love-making brings and the thrill of the power you have as a wife to make your husband come.

So, you're in bed. You know he wants it. He knows you are willing to enjoy making love, but don't really want an orgasm. Wives, this situation is much more of a problem for your husband than you probably realize. Why? - - - Because he has no idea what to do!

He's pretty sure just sticking it in and going for it is not a good idea. And he really has no idea if you want touching and caressing or not. Neither does he have any idea when you are ready for intercourse.

This is the time for YOU to take control. If you want something from him, tell him. If you'd like him to kiss your neck or breasts let him know. He'll be happy to oblige. But to start on his own feels a lot like stumbling in the dark. Your husband has become a student of you and what you like and turns you on and brings you to orgasm. When that isn't the goal, he's a little lost.

Better than telling him what you'd like, find out what he would like. But be specific. Don't just ask, "What would you like me to do, honey?" Chances are he won't answer. And it isn't because he doesn't want you to know. It because if he says what he's really thinking (like, "Dress up like a cheerleader who forgot her panties and put cherry syrup on me and lick it off with your legs tied to the dresser while humming a George Michael tune") he's afraid you'll think he's a freak. (Honey, if you're reading, I just made all that up . . . Well most of it anyway.)

So be specific. Ask, "Do you want a hand job?" "Can I lick you now?" You could ask how he likes what your doing. If he would like it faster or slower, harder or softer, if he needs a little lube. But ask him specific questions about what and how.

Wives, by taking control in this situation, you take the "performance pressure" off your husband. He's free to relax and enjoy what you are providing. It takes the awkardness out, can lead to some extremely erotic orgasms for your husband and a lot of self-satisfaction for you.

Sexual Intimacy In Marriage - 10 Ways For A Christian Wife To Avoid Whoopees

Sexual Intimacy In Marriage - 10 Ways For A Christian Wife To Avoid Whoopees is a REALLY funny article. At least I HOPE you think it's funny, but I know way too many people that wouldn't think it's funny at all . . .

Kate Beckinsale Says Lots of Sex is Key to Her Happy Marriage

We agree! Read it at FemaleFirst.co.uk.

Discount Code From Liberator.com!

The Liberator.com is offering a 10% discount in addition to their site wide discount at checkout with the code THANKS. Liberator.com offers a variety of sex toys and their famous Liberator Shapes that offer some interesting and erotic options for sex play.

Sex By Default

If you do a lot of reading about marriage and sex, you find that one topic that gets a lot of attention is the who, when and how of initiating sex. There is a lot of diversity on the topic and tons of advice. From scheduling sex to having code words or secret signs to let your spouse know you are interested, to the idea the husband should always initiate, to letting the wife make herself available, suggestions abound. All are great ideas and worthy of consideration.

As a proponent of hot, frequent married sex, I also have an opinion. My Hot Sexy Wife and I no longer have any signs or secret words. Neither do we have to worry about who will initiate sex. We both just expect it.

We go about our day assuming and anticipating that that night, when the kids are in bed, we're gonna have sex. Wives, I don't know what reading that sentence does to you, but for me and, I suspect, most other husbands out there, it sends a little shiver of excitement and wonder down my spine. It's like an epiphany. "Is that really possible?" Yes, it is. And it's great.

There are lots of reasons to shift your daily sexual paradigm from "probably not" to "probably so." We've previously posted about: Sexercise, Lose Weight by Having Sex and Why To Have Sex When You're Not In The Mood.

There is also the fact that the more you have sex the more you'll want to. Your body's natural chemical reactions to having sex produce more desire. If your libido is low, the best way to want more is to have more.

You might think that sex every night by default would become routine or lose its sponteneity, but it doesn't. There are infinite ways to make love to your spouse. Sometimes I'm in charge, sometimes she is. Sometimes we switch in the middle and then sometimes we switch back again. Lingerie or just naked. Fast or slow. Position, toys, cushions, location, technique, lighting, location, etc. all enhance and keep plenty of variety. It's really infrequent sex that leads to routine, since there's no real need to get creative if you're only doing it once a week or so.

I will admit, there is one little problem. A few days ago we decided to sneak in a quickie in the late afternoon. When we got into bed that night my wife asked, "So . . . what do we do now since we've already made love?" We talked a little and then fell asleep in each others arms - - naked.

Your Husband Can't Keep His Hands Off You? GOOD!

I can't keep my hands off my wife. In my mind, every little inch of her hot, sexy body is just irresistable. I want to touch, hold, stroke, caress, grab and grope every chance I get. And she lets me! Now, I know that not every time I come up behind her and slide my hands around her waist (and/or up her blouse), and kiss her neck that it sweeps her away in waves of ecstacy. Sometimes, she's busy or just isn't interested in being groped right then. But it's a quick pleasure that I enjoy -- a little connection-enhancer when I touch her in a way that she would never let anybody else.

I suppose there are some wives out there that aren't so gracious. A wife may slap her husband's hands away, tell him an exasperated, "No!" or in some other way reject his advances. In doing so, these wives are causing more damage to their marriages than they probably know.

Rejection is something that your husband doesn't deal with well. The married grope is more than a cheap feel, it is a "quick connect" -- the physical equivalent of a short phone call to say "I love you" in the middle of a hectic day. To reject it is to reject him.

It is also an opportunity for you, as a wife, to teach your husband about you and what does and doesn't turn you on. Is he touching you in a way that makes you uncomfortable at this time and place? Let the touch linger just a bit and then whisper in his ear, "I'd really like it if you touched me here instead," and then move his hands.

Or maybe he does it right. Perhaps he slid his hand under your shirt and across your bare stomach and gently cupped your right breast in a way that took your breath away. Take his other hand and place in on your left breast letting him know, "You forgot this one . . ."

Are you just too busy with the dishes or other chores? Stop what you're doing for just a bit and say, "That feels great. How about you help me get this finished and then you can try and make me feel even better."

The grope is your invitation to a conversation with your husband about how and when you like to be touched. It can also be your chance to invite him into helping out more.

If it goes well, don't forget to provide him lots of positive reinforcement. Let's say the grope lead to him helping you finish the laundry and then you make good on your promise. Thank him for helping and tell him that his help getting the laundry done lead to having the time for sex.

The grope isn't always an attempt to initiate sex. Enjoy it for the simple act that it is. If it IS an attempt to initiate sex and now just isn't the time for you, tell him that the touch still feels good (or employ the first suggestion above to teach him how to touch you) and make a date for sex later at a more convenient time.

Keeping a positive attitude toward your Husband will go a long way. See his advances as opportunities to teach him about you and as the positive connections they are.