Married Sex Blog

Making Up Is Hard To Do

Interesting artlcle from MatrimonyXpress.com helps put the perspective on arguments among spouses. It also offers ringing endorsement for make-up sex!

Porn in Marriage

As many married couples become more sexually adventurous, sometimes the topic of renting a sexy video and watching it together comes up. The idea of snuggling up with your wife while she's wearing some sexy lingerie and popping a racy video into the bedroom TV is a thrilling idea. Husbands, being visual, will get excited and wives may get new ideas to try out in the bedroom (or kitchen or garage, etc.)

Watching the perfect (and exaggerated) bodies in porn will undoubtedly add a thrill to your sex life, but the hidden danger could cause lasting damage. Porn is ultimately addictive - both for men and women. And with any addiction there is a continuum. Since primarily (but not exclusively) the consumers (and addicts) of porn are men, I'll speak primarily from here on out to a masculine audience.

According to the book, Think Before You Look 60% of married men are addicted to porn. I don't know what their criteria for defining "addiction" is, but none the less that is significant. Other Internet research reports indicate that married men's involvement with pornography ranges from a daily (or more) experience to "crutch" use during times when their wife is sexually unavailable.

Porn's effect's on marriage are numerous and range from diverting your attention from your spouse to the actors on the screen to being physically unable to perform with your spouse. These effects include more insidious problems such as a dependence on pornography to "get in the mood" and an inability to become sexually stimulated by your spouse's physical appearance. After all, few if any of us can compare physically to a surgically and digitally enhanced 20-year-old body. Neither are we capable of the apparent stamina portrayed in pornography created by pharmaceuticals and--most likely--lengthy rest breaks edited from the final version.

Furthermore, it's a fair bet to say that all sex depicted in pornography is illicit. I.e. not married couples. Even if it was married couples, the harms from viewing it would still be present. Additionally, many acts portrayed would be damaging if introduced into marriage. Many "mainline" pornographic movies include scenes of multiple partners and gay or lesbian sex. Obviously this is inappropriate and harmful to having great married sex with your spouse. The introduction of a third (or more) person into a married sexual relationship interferes with the essential one-on-one connection between spouses that makes married sex so hot, fulfilling and satisfying for both spouses.

Also, porn sex is just that--sex. Just the physical act. No connection, no love. It creates unrealistic and unnatural expectations. The fact is, the people in porn are actors. They are doing what actors do - acting. Sex in Porn looks hot and great, but it's really just acting. (For more information check out the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally)

Now for the Wives: In a lot of ways, we see www.marriedSEXblog.com as a porn antidote. Kind of the opposite side of the same coin as XXXChurch. Hear me clearly when I say that NO WIFE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HER HUSBAND'S USE OF PORNOGRAPHY. A husband that blames his wife for his pornography problem is a Weak, Despicable man. That being said, as wives you can do MUCH to innoculate and shield your husband from the temptation of porn.

Wives need to understand that in this area your husbands live in a different world than you do. In our culture, porn in one form or another is everywhere your husband looks, even if he is trying not to. Reading a news story on FoxNews.com and following a link for more information suddenly takes him to a site with provocative advertisements featuring bikini clad models. Opening Men's Health in the waiting room of the doctor's office reveals more ads and articles featuring willing women in seductive poses. Coupling this eroticized culture with the very real fact that men think about sex pretty much all the time with at least some corner of the brain makes it very difficult for a man for whom it has "been a few days" to look away.

A quick click in the privacy of an office can immediately immerse your husband in a world of pornography that 5 seconds ago he wasn't even looking for. But as a wife, and depending on the current state of your relationship, you either are, have been, or can and will be the object of ALL his sexual fantasy.

The sex life you share has a profound effect on your husband's ability to deal with these incessant temptations. Your husband is going to think about sex all day long. The question is, is he going to be thinking about you? And that IS within your control. There are times during the day that I can't even focus on what I'm doing because I can get the last night's mind-blowing sexual experience with my wife out of my head. As a professional person, I travel daily in a world where attractive women dress very nicely as a part of their job. Some of them even dress provocatively because they believe (and in many cases rightly so) it will help them get ahead. But because I'm "innoculated" against sexual temptation by my wife, not only is the temptation easily ignored, I find the idea laughable.

You are your husband's strength and shield against sexual temptation. While again I reiterate that no husband may blame his wife for his own problems in this area, wives have powerful tools at their disposal to protect their husbands from the bombardment that they encounter daily.

For a more detailed discussion of pornography and marriage, please read more

Sexercise: 7 cardio positions

Sex is good exercise. This article describes seven fun positions and describes the workout benefits of each.

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Lack of sleep means less sex

When a woman is sleep deprived, stressed or rushed her libido suffers. Ideas and what husbands can do to help.

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Lose Weight By Having Sex

A recent research has shown that by having sex three times a week can burn as many calories as running 30 miles per week. Some experts believe that sex in a loving relationship has a healing effect on the body and mind, however promiscuous sex will have an opposite effect probably arising from guilt.

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Weight gain can kill a man's sex drive

Not only does weight gain and obesity harm the health of the inside of your body but now new research found that it can lower testosterone levels, which can lead to a lack of a sex drive.

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The fact is a healthy body is great for sex for several obvious reasons:

First, it looks better. While women aren't nearly so visually stimulated by men's bodies as men are by the female figure, a nice looking husband is still a definite plus for your wife and does add to your overall attractiveness.

Second, it feels better - both for your wife and for you. Healthy bodies have better muscle and skin tone.

Third, folks admit it, sex is a physical activity, sometimes it's practically a sport! The better shape you are in the better sex you will have. Just like an athlete, a strong, healthy body will help you achieve "Peak Performance." A strong cardio-vascular system will help you have prolonged sex without tiring.

This goes for women as well as men. Good bodies mean good sex.

My Hot Sexy Wife and I are impressed with the results we have seen following the Body For Life system. By eating six small meals a day, your appetite stays under control while your metabolism stays high to burn fat. By alternating weight-training with cardio workouts, you build muscle mass to burn fat as well as support cardio-vascular improvement.

For weight training, we have a simple weight bench and dumb-bells from 2lbs-45lbs. Dumb-bells are often a good choice for a home gym because they are inexpensive and extremely versitile. You can get a full body workout using only dumb-bells.

For cardio, we've opted for an Octane Elliptical Trainer. While all the current research seems to indicate that treadmills burn the most calories, we find the elliptical easier to use, more fun and more versatile than a plain tread mill.

Whatever it takes, stay healthy and don't forget that sex is a great cardio workout!
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