Married Sex Blog: Sex is Icing on the Cake

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It seem kind of easy to say that sex is the icing on the cake. It's the good part right? Sure. But there IS more to it than just that. Think about cake and icing. To be really good a cake needs more than just icing. There has to be great cake also.

Sure sometime people eat the icing right out of the tub with a spoon, but that's not the way to eat icing. It tastes good, but too much makes you sick. If all we ever did was eat icing out of the tub we'd get fat!

Just so, cake without icing is pretty boring. It lacks the sweetness that makes cake great.

To try and have great sex without a great marriage is like eating icing out of the tub - - it might taste great but ultimately will not satisfy. Likewise, a marriage without great sex is boring and without flavor.

Of course icing comes in many varieties. Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry. With or without sprinkles. Sometimes there are designs. Let your imagination run wild!

Sex needs variety too. Creativity in our sex life makes it exciting. It's fun to try new things. Sometimes you and your spouse may try something and decide, "It's not for us." That's fine! At least you tried it and now you know. Maybe you'll try it again later and like it then.

Keep sex fresh and new just like icing on the cake.

Married Sex Books

Linda Dillow: Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex
Excellent resource for Women covering a wide range of questions about sexuality. (*****)
Ian Kerner: He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man
He Comes Next is meant to educate women on how to truly please their man. Unfortunately, the author misses out on the ways in which marriage so naturally lends itself to the process. Still, there are useful foundational issues discussed. Overall, the book encourages women to focus on helping men experience sex in a more global manner, rather than in the end-result, fast-food oriented approach encouraged by our society. Surprise, play, and a sense of adventure in your sex-life are encouraged, as are communication, relaxation, and touch that focuses on more than just a man's genitalia. The end of the book is more focused on specific techniques, most of which can be found in numerous other sources. (***)
Ian Kerner: She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
This book is 225 pages about cunnilingus. Not that that's a bad thing if cunnilingus isn't a routine part of your married sex life. This book can definitely help a wife encourage her husband in that area, or instruct a husband unfamiliar with the act in techniques. It is a great collection of the collective wisdom of the subject; all of the why, what, when and how are covered in detail. However, if you and your spouse are both satisfied with this aspect of your marriage, it can probably be skipped and much of the material is repetitive of information otherwise available. Unfortunately, the author also fails to recognize the unique sexual benefits of marriage. (***)
Joe Beam: Becoming One
Intimacy is, of course, the goal of any good marriage. In this book, intimacy is described and promoted as three sides of a triangle, emotional, spiritual and sexual. In great detail, Joe Beam discusses, the importance of each and provides detailed plans for evaluating and improving each form of intimacy in your marriage. (****)
Kevin Leman: Sheet Music
This book takes you on a married journey through sex. It begins with underlying sexual beliefs you may unknowingly bring into your marriage, journeys through the honeymoon and early days of sex, and helps you cultivate an on-going, quality sexual adventure in your marriage. Particularly appealing is its fairly comprehensive look at sex within the context of marriage. A must-read, no matter where you are currently in your marital journey. ( It's only weakness seems to be an annoying pet-name for male genitalia.) (*****)
Jr Willard F Harley: His Needs Her Needs
This is probably THE most important book for building a strong foundation for marriage. A strong marital foundation is critical for building a wonderful, creative and mutually satisfying sex life. (*****)
John Gray: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
An excellent resource for understanding the differences between men and women and how to bridge the gap. Another important foundational reference. (****)
Ed Wheat: Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage, Third Edition
Not that much info about sex in general, but covers a wide range of sexual issues in marriage. More of an overview of many different issues than an indepth discussion of marital sex. (****)
Clifford L. Penner: The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment
A long standing favorite, getting a bit dated. (***)

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