Married Sex

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Comments

Husband

A side benefit for me of really taking care of my wife is to hear the stories from her of the reactions of her co-workers when she tells them what I've been doing.

Usually, it's very positive, but this time I was a little offended. It kind of hacked me off that they would immediately assume that the only reason I would do that for my wife was because I wanted sex.

Of course I wanted sex. But that wasn't why I did it. I was going to get it anyway.I just wanted my wife to be happy and relaxed. Does that usually make for better sex? Sure.

How sad that these women's marriages are so poor that no gesture can be received with out suspicion.

Amy W.

I get to do the opposite. My husband works late on occasion so I get to give him a show. I get the bedroom (or living room when the kids are away) all set up. Knowing men are visual - set it up for a little striptease. One song is all I need because that's all he can take! I try variety, sometimes I wear cutoffs and a tank top with a plain bra and thong. and sometimes I go all out and wear a sexy dress with lacy bra and g-string and garterbelt, stockings with high heels.

Anon

I love your comment that "we operate under the assumption that sex WILL happen unless we jointly decide it won't."

My wife and I switched to that approach a few months ago and it has made a world of difference. We went from having sex 2-3 times a week to 7-10 times per week. The pressure of someone to make the first move is gone and it has freed us up to just hop in bed and go for it.

Of course, our relationship and communication have made major improvements. Let's face it -- good sex puts a smile on your face, and that carries over into other areas of life.

The comments to this entry are closed.

Married Sex Books

  • Linda Dillow: Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex

    Linda Dillow: Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex
    Excellent resource for Women covering a wide range of questions about sexuality. (*****)

  • Ian Kerner: He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man

    Ian Kerner: He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man
    He Comes Next is meant to educate women on how to truly please their man. Unfortunately, the author misses out on the ways in which marriage so naturally lends itself to the process. Still, there are useful foundational issues discussed. Overall, the book encourages women to focus on helping men experience sex in a more global manner, rather than in the end-result, fast-food oriented approach encouraged by our society. Surprise, play, and a sense of adventure in your sex-life are encouraged, as are communication, relaxation, and touch that focuses on more than just a man's genitalia. The end of the book is more focused on specific techniques, most of which can be found in numerous other sources. (***)

  • Ian Kerner: She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

    Ian Kerner: She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
    This book is 225 pages about cunnilingus. Not that that's a bad thing if cunnilingus isn't a routine part of your married sex life. This book can definitely help a wife encourage her husband in that area, or instruct a husband unfamiliar with the act in techniques. It is a great collection of the collective wisdom of the subject; all of the why, what, when and how are covered in detail. However, if you and your spouse are both satisfied with this aspect of your marriage, it can probably be skipped and much of the material is repetitive of information otherwise available. Unfortunately, the author also fails to recognize the unique sexual benefits of marriage. (***)

  • Joe Beam: Becoming One

    Joe Beam: Becoming One
    Intimacy is, of course, the goal of any good marriage. In this book, intimacy is described and promoted as three sides of a triangle, emotional, spiritual and sexual. In great detail, Joe Beam discusses, the importance of each and provides detailed plans for evaluating and improving each form of intimacy in your marriage. (****)

  • Kevin Leman: Sheet Music

    Kevin Leman: Sheet Music
    This book takes you on a married journey through sex. It begins with underlying sexual beliefs you may unknowingly bring into your marriage, journeys through the honeymoon and early days of sex, and helps you cultivate an on-going, quality sexual adventure in your marriage. Particularly appealing is its fairly comprehensive look at sex within the context of marriage. A must-read, no matter where you are currently in your marital journey. ( It's only weakness seems to be an annoying pet-name for male genitalia.) (*****)

  • Jr Willard F Harley: His Needs Her Needs

    Jr Willard F Harley: His Needs Her Needs
    This is probably THE most important book for building a strong foundation for marriage. A strong marital foundation is critical for building a wonderful, creative and mutually satisfying sex life. (*****)

  • John Gray: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

    John Gray: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
    An excellent resource for understanding the differences between men and women and how to bridge the gap. Another important foundational reference. (****)

  • Ed Wheat: Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage, Third Edition

    Ed Wheat: Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage, Third Edition
    Not that much info about sex in general, but covers a wide range of sexual issues in marriage. More of an overview of many different issues than an indepth discussion of marital sex. (****)

  • Clifford L. Penner: The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment

    Clifford L. Penner: The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment
    A long standing favorite, getting a bit dated. (***)

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