"Don't Cha Wish Your Husband Was Hot Like Mine"

I found another reason to have more sex.

It all started with a late night at work. I came home stressed from the normal work day and made a flying pass though my house. I changed clothes, fed the kids, and snapped impatiently at my husband and kids. Then it was off again to a late work commitment.

When I returned home later, I opened the door to my home and thought, "What happened to my house?" It was CLEAN! No dishes in the sink, no toys abandoned in the floor, and a candle burned cheerfully on the stove. My husband had the children bathed and all but our youngest tucked in bed. I snuggled up on bed with my toddler and husband, and felt the last of the stress drift away. My husband told me he'd take care of tucking in our son, and that I should just go take a bath. I had a few more items on my to-do list for the evening, though, such as packing lunches for the next day, so I headed for the kitchen instead of the bathroom.

My husband soon followed me to the kitchen and took over lunch-box duty, shooing me off to take a bath.

There in my bathroom, my final surprise awaited. Candles, scented hot water, and romantic music greeted me. See what kind of man I have?

So what does this have to do with having more sex, you ask? Probably not what you think. You see, I shared this story with my co-workers the next day, and every single one had the same reaction--"Guess we know what HE wanted!" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

But you know what? That's not why he did it.

And how am I so confident? Because I was a sure thing. He' have "gotten some" anyway. My husband did not have to go to all of that effort and pamper me like he did to get sex. We have sex on a regular basis. If you have read any of our other articles, you know we operate under the assumption that sex WILL happen unless we jointly decide it won't. So my husband is freed from the trap that seems to await all husbands. If they try to be romantic, we assume they "want something." If they don't try to be romantic, we wish they did and feel less inclined to have sex--possibly even withholding sex as a punishment.

Satisfying and frequent sex (frequent enough the partner with the highest sex drive feels satisfied) frees us from assuming ulterior motives on the part of our mates. This generally applies to women who assume men have ulterior motives for every romantic gesture on their part.

So my newest reason for more frequent sex? Trust. And a confidence in my husband's love that other women don't seem to share.

Comments

[Husband]

A side benefit for me of really taking care of my wife is to hear the stories from her of the reactions of her co-workers when she tells them what I've been doing.

Usually, it's very positive, but this time I was a little offended. It kind of hacked me off that they would immediately assume that the only reason I would do that for my wife was because I wanted sex.

Of course I wanted sex. But that wasn't why I did it. I was going to get it anyway.I just wanted my wife to be happy and relaxed. Does that usually make for better sex? Sure.

How sad that these women's marriages are so poor that no gesture can be received with out suspicion.

[Amy W.]

I get to do the opposite. My husband works late on occasion so I get to give him a show. I get the bedroom (or living room when the kids are away) all set up. Knowing men are visual - set it up for a little striptease. One song is all I need because that's all he can take! I try variety, sometimes I wear cutoffs and a tank top with a plain bra and thong. and sometimes I go all out and wear a sexy dress with lacy bra and g-string and garterbelt, stockings with high heels.

[Anon]

I love your comment that "we operate under the assumption that sex WILL happen unless we jointly decide it won't."

My wife and I switched to that approach a few months ago and it has made a world of difference. We went from having sex 2-3 times a week to 7-10 times per week. The pressure of someone to make the first move is gone and it has freed us up to just hop in bed and go for it.

Of course, our relationship and communication have made major improvements. Let's face it -- good sex puts a smile on your face, and that carries over into other areas of life.