Sex By Default

If you do a lot of reading about marriage and sex, you find that one topic that gets a lot of attention is the who, when and how of initiating sex. There is a lot of diversity on the topic and tons of advice. From scheduling sex to having code words or secret signs to let your spouse know you are interested, to the idea the husband should always initiate, to letting the wife make herself available, suggestions abound. All are great ideas and worthy of consideration.

As a proponent of hot, frequent married sex, I also have an opinion. My Hot Sexy Wife and I no longer have any signs or secret words. Neither do we have to worry about who will initiate sex. We both just expect it.

We go about our day assuming and anticipating that that night, when the kids are in bed, we're gonna have sex. Wives, I don't know what reading that sentence does to you, but for me and, I suspect, most other husbands out there, it sends a little shiver of excitement and wonder down my spine. It's like an epiphany. "Is that really possible?" Yes, it is. And it's great.

There are lots of reasons to shift your daily sexual paradigm from "probably not" to "probably so." We've previously posted about: Sexercise, Lose Weight by Having Sex and Why To Have Sex When You're Not In The Mood.

There is also the fact that the more you have sex the more you'll want to. Your body's natural chemical reactions to having sex produce more desire. If your libido is low, the best way to want more is to have more.

You might think that sex every night by default would become routine or lose its sponteneity, but it doesn't. There are infinite ways to make love to your spouse. Sometimes I'm in charge, sometimes she is. Sometimes we switch in the middle and then sometimes we switch back again. Lingerie or just naked. Fast or slow. Position, toys, cushions, location, technique, lighting, location, etc. all enhance and keep plenty of variety. It's really infrequent sex that leads to routine, since there's no real need to get creative if you're only doing it once a week or so.

I will admit, there is one little problem. A few days ago we decided to sneak in a quickie in the late afternoon. When we got into bed that night my wife asked, "So . . . what do we do now since we've already made love?" We talked a little and then fell asleep in each others arms - - naked.