Porn in Marriage

As many married couples become more sexually adventurous, sometimes the topic of renting a sexy video and watching it together comes up. The idea of snuggling up with your wife while she's wearing some sexy lingerie and popping a racy video into the bedroom TV is a thrilling idea. Husbands, being visual, will get excited and wives may get new ideas to try out in the bedroom (or kitchen or garage, etc.)

Watching the perfect (and exaggerated) bodies in porn will undoubtedly add a thrill to your sex life, but the hidden danger could cause lasting damage. Porn is ultimately addictive - both for men and women. And with any addiction there is a continuum. Since primarily (but not exclusively) the consumers (and addicts) of porn are men, I'll speak primarily from here on out to a masculine audience.

According to the book, Think Before You Look 60% of married men are addicted to porn. I don't know what their criteria for defining "addiction" is, but none the less that is significant. Other Internet research reports indicate that married men's involvement with pornography ranges from a daily (or more) experience to "crutch" use during times when their wife is sexually unavailable.

Porn's effect's on marriage are numerous and range from diverting your attention from your spouse to the actors on the screen to being physically unable to perform with your spouse. These effects include more insidious problems such as a dependence on pornography to "get in the mood" and an inability to become sexually stimulated by your spouse's physical appearance. After all, few if any of us can compare physically to a surgically and digitally enhanced 20-year-old body. Neither are we capable of the apparent stamina portrayed in pornography created by pharmaceuticals and--most likely--lengthy rest breaks edited from the final version.

Furthermore, it's a fair bet to say that all sex depicted in pornography is illicit. I.e. not married couples. Even if it was married couples, the harms from viewing it would still be present. Additionally, many acts portrayed would be damaging if introduced into marriage. Many "mainline" pornographic movies include scenes of multiple partners and gay or lesbian sex. Obviously this is inappropriate and harmful to having great married sex with your spouse. The introduction of a third (or more) person into a married sexual relationship interferes with the essential one-on-one connection between spouses that makes married sex so hot, fulfilling and satisfying for both spouses.

Also, porn sex is just that--sex. Just the physical act. No connection, no love. It creates unrealistic and unnatural expectations. The fact is, the people in porn are actors. They are doing what actors do - acting. Sex in Porn looks hot and great, but it's really just acting. (For more information check out the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally)

Now for the Wives: In a lot of ways, we see www.marriedSEXblog.com as a porn antidote. Kind of the opposite side of the same coin as XXXChurch. Hear me clearly when I say that NO WIFE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HER HUSBAND'S USE OF PORNOGRAPHY. A husband that blames his wife for his pornography problem is a Weak, Despicable man. That being said, as wives you can do MUCH to innoculate and shield your husband from the temptation of porn.

Wives need to understand that in this area your husbands live in a different world than you do. In our culture, porn in one form or another is everywhere your husband looks, even if he is trying not to. Reading a news story on FoxNews.com and following a link for more information suddenly takes him to a site with provocative advertisements featuring bikini clad models. Opening Men's Health in the waiting room of the doctor's office reveals more ads and articles featuring willing women in seductive poses. Coupling this eroticized culture with the very real fact that men think about sex pretty much all the time with at least some corner of the brain makes it very difficult for a man for whom it has "been a few days" to look away.

A quick click in the privacy of an office can immediately immerse your husband in a world of pornography that 5 seconds ago he wasn't even looking for. But as a wife, and depending on the current state of your relationship, you either are, have been, or can and will be the object of ALL his sexual fantasy.

The sex life you share has a profound effect on your husband's ability to deal with these incessant temptations. Your husband is going to think about sex all day long. The question is, is he going to be thinking about you? And that IS within your control. There are times during the day that I can't even focus on what I'm doing because I can get the last night's mind-blowing sexual experience with my wife out of my head. As a professional person, I travel daily in a world where attractive women dress very nicely as a part of their job. Some of them even dress provocatively because they believe (and in many cases rightly so) it will help them get ahead. But because I'm "innoculated" against sexual temptation by my wife, not only is the temptation easily ignored, I find the idea laughable.

You are your husband's strength and shield against sexual temptation. While again I reiterate that no husband may blame his wife for his own problems in this area, wives have powerful tools at their disposal to protect their husbands from the bombardment that they encounter daily.

For a more detailed discussion of pornography and marriage, please read more

Comments

[Sexy Married Friends]

From a wife:

To the women out there that want to please their husbands and help them to stay away from the addicting world of porn, I recommend making your own. Like 60% of other married males, my husband occationally was tempted. He always reassured me that it didn't have anything to do with me, however it still bothered me, because we have a healthy sex life.

So, one day I decided to take matters into my own hands and ask my husband if he would like to film our evening of passionate sex. WOW,...you would have thought he was a kid in a candy store. He got the video camera as fast as he could, so I wouldn't have time to change my mind. I am a bit shy when it comes to my body and was very nervous about doing this, but I would rather him view a tape of me or us together than view pornography.

My husband now uses our tapes vs pronography when he has the desire, and I am unavailable.

I didn't think I would enjoy doing this, but suprisingly it has got my creative juices flowing about the next film we will make together. Since our first tape, we made another and plan to make more because it was really fun and erotic to watch together. My husband was extremly turned on, and I would have to say that I liked it too.

In a nutshell (no pun intended) you can help your husband break his addiction to porn by making your own (just for the two of you). We believe that this will help in keeping sex within the marraige and still keep it erotic by giving your husband what he wants,..visual stimulation of yourself at his finger tips.

NOTE -- Make sure you tell a VERY close friend where you hide your tapes, just in case the unthinkable happens so that they can be destroyed before any family goes through your stuff!!!!!

TIP -- When making your film, have a theme to play out,...LOTS OF FUN!!!